Expectations and personally discouraged.



Almost every one of us or most are prisoners of our own and other people’s expectations. Expectations are part of our daily experience whether we are consciously aware of it or unconsciously. Many of us are not consciously aware. The reality is, focusing on expectations course stress and anxiety in our life. They form all sort of emotional distress e.g.  communication breakdown, misunderstanding, distrust boundies are broken and amongst other issues. and personally discouraged.


Expectations to some extent is unconsciously implemented, we may say we don’t have expectation but deep down in our unconscious mind we hold hidden views which empowers our expectations. Why focus on expectations? The main reason is that expectations are a common source of stress. They frequently create all sorts of damage, including emotional distress, relationship conflicts, communication breakdowns, misunderstandings, distrust, and a wide range of other common problems.


Expectations produce stress in two main ways. One is that they are frequently untrue or unrealistic. The other is that most of the time, we are completely unaware of them. Individual expectations are not very complicated. They often consist of simple ideas such as life should be fair, “people should be honest," etc. It's the fact they are hidden from our view that gives them so much power over us.


When we consciously or unconsciously harbour expectations that are much too high, we set ourselves up for failure. As a result, we end up feeling frustrated, angry and personally discouraged.    


Expectations play other roles in relationship conflicts as well. Whenever we form a relationship by means of another person, we almost always have expectations about how both we and that person should think, feel, and behave. When these expectations are violated, stress can occur.


Friendships, for example, are based upon a mutually understood set of expectations. We expect our friends to be loyal, honest, and trustworthy. We expect they will never try to hurt us or harm us intentionally, and that they will always be responsive to us when we are in need. When people who profess to be our friends don't behave in these ways, we feel angry and betrayed. Perhaps they were never our friends at all. Perhaps they were only out to use us. But our faulty expectations may have caused us to perceive them as being more committed to true friendship than they really were. when our expectations about ourselves, about life, or about others are too low, we experience decreased self-expression, underachievement, depression, resignation and diminished self-esteem.


When you become consciously aware of your hidden expectations, however, this can free you from being dominated by them. You can look at a specific expectation such as "Life should always be fair" and ask yourself "is this really true?" When you pause to think about this question for a moment, you will often see things in a much more accurate light.


Of course life isn't fair. Tornados aren't fair. Street muggings aren't fair. Death isn't fair. Betrayals aren't fair. The point is, once you become aware of an untrue or unrealistic expectation, YOU gain the power to free yourself from it.

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